Police and Ivory

In my dream I was a police officer. Sort of. I had an id card with a badge on one side and my picture and name on the other, more of an honorary thing. Oh, and I was mentally challenged.
The prologue of the dream was flashbacks of me growing up in a house where the man of the house (father?) was a police man and whenever he arrived home I would scamper to him to hear tales of the cases he had done that day.
At this point I was in high school and took my job as a n honorary police officer seriously by patrolling the local mall for shoplifters. The dream shifted between third and first person perspectives, granting almost that movie like feel. I got the feeling it was a small community and that most of the merchants knew me. I ws tall and bulky for my age, built like a policeman usually is.
I was wandering through a a department store when a short scruffy man bumped into me. I apologized and continued on. It was then I realized he was following me through the store.I rounded a display corner and jumped into a rack of clothes and watched the scruffy man pass me, but I had the feeling he still knew where I was, even though he continued on. He gave me the heebie jeebies and I decided to go back in the opposite direction. The aisles kept getting smaller and soon I had to switch aisles or risk knocking over displays. This brought me to the CD and record collection, where two men were having a theological discussion. One man finally pulled out a card and presented it to the other man with an invitation to accept Jesus. Once the first man was gone, the second one looked at me like the first man was a nut job and recapped some of their conversation. I had to agree that the first man was indeed a nut case.
Later I found myself at a small police station wher I was receiving wonderful news. The captain/sheriff was telling me that she had gotten me a job. I immediately was excited and started with demands like a child for an office and a gun and a uniform and a holster and blah, blah. She slowed me down and burst my bubble.
"You know my budget is tight and the county wouldn't let me hire you on as an officer. Instead you are an analyst. You do not get a gun but you can have a desk in the loft upstairs. And you get a real badge"
At this point I helped another officer carry all sorts of boxes and supplies upstairs to my "office" actually more of a storage space. I was still excited and was trying to grab my supplies from the bottom of each stack causing much chaos and mess, while the other officer tried to keep it from total anarchy. The sheriff yelled at me and started giving me a lecture on patience. It was at this point, I realized she was talking to me like one would a small child and in fact this was how everyone treated me. But something in my mind had changed. I had finally reached my purpose and it seemed like my brain was operating on a whole new level.
Another flashback occurred of me turning some stolen items into the Sheriff. They were ornately carved ivory spoons with, each with a jade animal figure no bigger than your thumb. They could be put together with the corresponding spoon to make a beautiful ivory and jade diorama. I remember the Sheriff being ecstatic about these items when I turned them into her and she even had an auction catalog or picture book showing them.
In a quiet moment, I went back to the Sheriff's desk to find that catalog. In my new state of mind, I realized these were priceless artifacts that somehow were being smuggled through the country and that my Sheriff was a middle man/woman. They counted on me to catch the "shoplifters" and confiscate the evidence and turn it over to her.
At some point I confiscated the remaining set of spoons and confronted the Sheriff with my belief. She started talking to me like a child again and I pulled a gun on her. She was shocked but only momentarily.
"Do you think I'm too stupid to buy bullets?" I asked. "Now we'll sit and wait. I made some phone calls and pretty soon the FBI will be here to look over these spoons and see if they are real"

Shocking Headlines

Ok, You gotta love the Onion:

Unemployed Scientists Prove Dog Likes Beer

College Redeux

I was going back to college, but unlike some of my other dreams along this vein, I wasn't stressed about dorm life
or being the "old man". Instead I met my roommate; moved in without a hitch and headed off to class. It was after I
left the building and was halfway to the campus quad/market that I realized I wasn't sure of my room number or even
the building I lived in, but oh well, press on!
Walking through the college market/quad was like walking through a collage of my life. It was peopled with many from
my past and I carefully avoided eye contact or greetings. I'm not sure if this was because of a fear they wouldn't
remember me or a fear of their revulsion at what I have become.
I made my way up to a high terrace that looked over/into a courtyard and adjacent classrooms. There I found my
friend Scott. He was auditing courses from his perch using an electronic ear to hear what was going on in the
classroom and video monitors to view the professors and chalkboards. He kind of chuckled and explained to me that
one lecture that he wanted to observe turned out to be sort of a bust from his vantage point. The problem was that
the class was more of a computer lab and the "lecture" was taking place in some online forums and chat sessions, so
when he pointed the ear on the room all he could hear was the clattering of keyboards.
At this point the Dean of the school stopped by to converse with Scott and compare notes and she dismissed me with a
"don't you have class?" I realized I indeed have a class and was in danger of being late. I hurried to the room to
find it almost full.
At this point came a moment of panic. What am I doing back in school? What am I doing in this class? What am I
studying? What is this class? I do not remember what the class was only that I spent more time getting to know the
people around me than the paying attention to the lecture. There was a young couple that stood out because we also
shared my next class and we really seem to hit it off.
As the class dismissed I found myself having to cross the campus to get to my next lecture. I wandered down a hill,
where all paths seem to converge on the quad/marlet again. This time on my way through I openly greeted those people
from my past. Charlotte, Jill, and mnay others. At the bottom of the hill and the quad there was construction in
progress. WHere there would normally be stairs, it was a wall of wood that you had to pull yourself up onto and
continue on the path. I watched several people and tried to follow suit. I was unable to make the climb try as I
might. I heard some grumbling from people around me about why we had to put up with this and I agreed. I spotted a
construction site nearby that had many cinder block that could easliy be used to form a staircase and mentioned it
to people. Soon a mob was following me in that direction and after scaring off the contractors we were able to get
bricks and cinderblock to build a rudimentary staircase. I hadn't meant to start a mob, it just sort of formed
around me and took on a life of its own.
I finally reached my next class a found a seat next to the couple from earlier. The class was the study of pysche in
determining costume choices, but apparently only half of us were aware of that fact. The other half seemed to think
it was a costume party, and when the professor announced for the costumed half to stand it was like being thrown
into a wild party. The couple and I chuckled and pointed out amusing individuals to each other. After a short time
the costumed ones left and the professor began to lecture on what makes people choose their costumes and the ideas
behind superhero costumes.
But I was unable to focus, the guy next to me (from the couple) was drawing my attention to a gaming book he had and
was adamant about me reading two pages. His wife just rolled her eyes and nodded for me to humor him. At first I
looked over the book and felt I recognized the author but couldn't figure out why and kept drawing reference to my
open text book. As I finally began to read the indicated passages the story drew me in and turned into an animated
scene. It was a about a giant who was wandering around. He wanted to smash things and had a club that would flame to
cause more damage, but once he got it swinging he it would not stay hard enough to smash anything. In the end the
giant wandered through the hamlet, impotent with his flailing club and ended up becoming a charred statue.
_______________________________________________________________________
Later I found myself reclining on a bed trying to study with the wife of the couple (we'll call her Julie) studying
with me. Soon I noticed she was no longer studying but nibbling on my ear and neck. I turned inward and met her
kisses and we fell into a passionate lip lock. I pulled away and asked "what about your husband? You know I am
married. Are you sure that this is what you want?"Julie hesitated, took a deep breath and replied "yes, this is what I want"We fell to kissing and groping again and once again I broke the embrace, for this time another woman I had noticed
through out the day had walked into the room."What's going on?" she asked with a devillish grin. She was a stunning raven hair beuty and from the look in her
eyes I could tell she had only one thing on her mind."There is room for one more" I said half jokingly and I slid over to the center of the bed and patted beside me. I
looked over at Julie, who had slipped off her clothes and was under the sheets, her eyes glittering with glee."Can you get it up twice?" Raven asked as she slid into bed with us, her clothes slipping to the floor with ease.I took them in with my fingers and my mouth, but .....The situation seemed strange. I was excited to be there but not as excited as I should have been. Their expectations
of my performance worried on my mind, and part of me wondered why I should care if it was going to be a one time
thing. And part of me felt like a novice again wondering what I was doing of if what I was doing as right.
I redoubled my efforts and explorations with my fingers until Julie screamed out "do you even know what you are
doing?" She began on a tirade about how what movements of hers were supposed to be cues to me as well as that my
fingernails were too sharp. Raven, on the other hand, looked satisfied but dissappointed that I didn't give her an
old fashioned banging.
The phone rang and the three of us were going shopping..................
____________________________________________________________________________
We arrived at the store and I was beginning to feel exhausted. I was anxious to get back to our threesome and at the
same time was mulling over what happened in my mind. THe girls went shopping while I wandered into the lobby of the
store to find a place to sit. There was a security guard there asking me if I had been to the store before and if I
needed help. It was cozy little lobby darkly lit, wood pannelling and comfortable couches. I replied that I had been in the store before but not that particular one. He asked which state I had been in a
store and I replied with Florida, hoping that was right.He turned around and entered something into a keyboard and the lights dimmed more and a tv began playing me a little
advertising spiel.
I must have gooten bored with that, for soon I found myself at home with Cathy and she appeared grumpy. She was
worried I had not called or she did not know where I was or something. I told her everything about my encounter with
Raven and Julie and asked if she was mad.She wasn't mad, in fact she wanted to meet Julie so they could commiserate over some of my other faults
Women..........

Soldiers in Gaming

Thanks to Mr. Kovalic for bringing this one to my attention:

Ziggurat Con

A very special convention is happening this summer.

Ziggurat Con, being held June 9 from 1200 to 2100 hours at Camp Adder/Tallil Airbase, in Iraq, is open to all allied military personnel and civilian contractors in Iraq.

This is the first gaming convention EVER to be held in a War Zone.

Full details and a picture of some of the organizers a can be found here.

I'm making damn sure everyone at the con gets a comic book or two. I'm also sending a ton of trade paperbacks for door prizes, as well as Out of the Box games, Munchkin, Chez Geek, Mag*Blast and, of course, Chez Grunt.

Folks know my opinions on the war, but no matter what yours is, there are people over there on all sides who need our help.

This is just one way of helping fellow gamers who find themselves in an ugly, awful situation. They're doing something I couldn't do and I, for one, want to send stuff along to give them a break, for at least a few hours.

For more information, contact SPC David Amberson (a really cool guy I've had the honor and pleasure of e-mailing) at the following address: david.amberson (at) iraq.centcom.mil

Donations can also be sent to SPC Amberson directly at the following address:

SPC David Amberson
A Co 86th Sig Bn
APO, AE 09331

Spread the word!

Congratulations Ani!

Ok, I'm a little late but better late than never



1/22/2007
ANI’S BUNDLE OF JOY ARRIVES…
We’re happy to report that Ani gave birth to a 7 pound, 8 ounce little girl, Petah Lucia, at her Buffalo home early Saturday morning, January 20. Mother and baby are both healthy and happy. Welcome to the world, Petah!

Action Figure Museum

Good Friday is not typically a holidy we get off from work. Every couple of years, though the stars align and the big wigs grant us the day off.

So with an extra day with nothing we wanted to do (around the house anyway), Robely and I headed off on a road trip. During our treks back and forth to OKC we have been seeing signs for The Action Figure Museum, and being the geeks we are were intrigued. Finally the time had come to indulge our curiosity.

Nestled in the quaint downtown of Paul's Valley, Oklahoma this museum does double duty as the Oklahoma Cartoonists Museum as well. The main draw of the museum was this one HUGE diorama that seemed to be the founder's collection of toys spread all over a mock bedroom in animated poses.

He had quite the collection, though I was a little disappointed in the lack of anime related pieces. Unfortunately, Robely has decided we need to add a room on to the house so she can create her own "doll" museum.(See more photos)

Afterwards, we took a scenic drive across the state to hit the casino in Durant, OK. Right away I won about 80$, but instead of walking out and going home, I proceeded to lose it and a lot more over the next hour. *Sigh* When will I ever learn?

What the F.....??????

I sure hope this an April Fools special:


April 1, 2007

Film

A Lyrical Approach to a Subject That Shocks

New York Times
By DENNIS LIM

ZOO,” the new film by the Seattle director Robinson Devor, arrived at this year’s Sundance Film Festival better known as “the horse sex documentary.” But as festival audiences discovered, this description, while not incorrect, was also misleading. The film revisits the true story of a man who died in July 2005 after a sexual encounter with a horse in rural Washington State but does so with a lyricism startlingly at odds with the sensational content.

“This topic is not something people want to think about,” Mr. Devor said in an interview at Sundance, summing up both the challenge of marketing the film and the reason he and his writing partner, Charles Mudede, were compelled to make it.

Speaking at the premiere Mr. Mudede called “Zoo” a “thought experiment.” He added, “If someone can go there physically, I can go there mentally.”

Contemplating an unorthodox merging of man and beast, “Zoo” (which is set to open in New York on April 25) is itself an exotic hybrid: a fact-based film combining audio testimony with speculative re-enactments that feature a mix of actors and actual subjects. (The title is the subcultural term for a zoophile, a person whose affinity for animals sometimes extends to the carnal.)

“Zoo” obliquely recreates the events of the fateful night that caused a media frenzy in the Seattle area two summers ago. Shortly after being dropped off at an emergency room in Enumclaw, Wash., a 45-year-old Boeing engineer named Kenneth Pinyan — known in the film only by his Internet handle, Mr. Hands — died of internal injuries resulting from a perforated colon. The police investigation led to a farm and turned up videotapes and DVDs that showed several men engaging in sexual acts with the resident Arabian stallions. Bestiality was not illegal in Washington at the time, but in response to the Pinyan incident the State Senate voted last year to criminalize it.

Mr. Devor and Mr. Mudede, a columnist for the Seattle weekly The Stranger, noticed a disturbing uniformity in news coverage and public opinion surrounding the case.

“There seemed to be two responses: repulsion or laughter,” Mr. Mudede said. “People didn’t want to have any connection or identification with these men. Early on Rob and I said to each other, ‘We’re going to revive their humanity.’ ”

“Zoo” strives to liberate Mr. Hands from his posthumous fate as tabloid punch line. It allows the friends of the dead man a means for disclosure and dares to find, in their candid accounts of their desires and the hidden worlds where they were fulfilled, something strangely beautiful and even recognizable.

“It was fascinating that there was a community of close friends, that there were basic human interactions happening alongside things that seemed completely alien,” Mr. Mudede said. “Zoo” minimizes its freak show aspect by emphasizing the coexistence of the mundane and the bizarre, a strategy it shares with the pair’s 2005 Sundance entry, “Police Beat,” an enigmatic reverie inspired by Mr. Mudede’s crime-blotter column. What emerges here is a sad, even tender portrait of a group of men who met from time to time at a farm, where they would drink slushy cocktails, watch some television and repair to the barn to have sex with horses.

The film’s nonzoophile perspective is provided by Jenny Edwards, the founder of a local rescue organization called Hope for Horses, who helped investigate potential animal abuse in the Enumclaw case. “I don’t yet quite know how I feel about that,” she says in the film, referring to the intense feelings that zoophiles claim to have for animals, “but I’m right at the edge of being able to understand it.”

“Zoo” invites the viewer out onto that ledge of near comprehension. That it does so with neither squeamishness nor prurience owes much to Mr. Devor’s sidelong approach, one that was born of necessity. The story’s central figure was dead, and his family wanted nothing to do with the film. Only one of the three zoophiles interviewed agreed to appear in the re-enactments. All are identified simply by their online names: Coyote, H and the Happy Horseman.

“I’m glad we weren’t able to depend on the talking-head approach,” Mr. Devor said. Mr. Mudede concurred. “It was a chance to really make a film instead of a ‘60 Minutes’-style documentary,” he said.

Driving for the first time into Enumclaw, a town at the base of snow-capped Mount Rainier, the filmmakers immediately grasped the cinematic potential. “Talk about a mythic place,” Mr. Devor said. “This happened in the shadow of a volcano, in these verdant fields. You had beautiful animals, private gatherings, secret societies.”

“Zoo” makes the most of its Edenic setting. Sean Kirby’s Super-16 cinematography reinforces the sense of a prelapsarian idyll, with lush images of rhododendrons in bloom, Mount Rainier perfectly framed in a picture window, men walking through the woods at night in dreamy slow motion.

Unabashed aesthetes, Mr. Devor and Mr. Mudede are anomalies in the grungy landscape of American indie film. Given the off-putting subject matter “Zoo” might even be accused of using beauty as a salve, as some reviewers grumbled at Sundance.

Responding to this critique Mr. Mudede said: “I don’t think the aesthetic element is deceiving. It’s not that we’re making something difficult more accessible through beauty. That’s exactly the situation in which these men experienced their friendship.”

But he added, laughing, “I admit if this had happened on an ugly pig farm we wouldn’t have made the film.”

Mr. Devor said it was tricky trying to communicate the movie he had in mind to his wary subjects: “They would be like, ‘What do you mean impressionistic images?’ ”

As it happened, it was a zoo, as the participants call themselves, who initiated contact, sending an e-mail message to Mr. Mudede in response to an article he had written about the case. “I think there was a desperate need to talk,” Mr. Mudede said.

Coyote, the only zoo who appears in the film, said in a recent e-mail interview that he came to trust Mr. Devor after meeting him a few times. “I felt in my gut he was not going to make an exploitive type of movie,” he wrote.

Despite an instinctive suspicion of publicity, it was evidently important to the zoos that their stories be heard. H, the farmhand who was the host of the get-togethers, called Mr. Devor in mid-December after “Zoo” had been selected for Sundance and consented to an audio interview (leaving Mr. Devor just a few weeks to frantically re-edit the film).

Coyote, for his part, remains conflicted about his involvement. “I do not think a higher profile is good at all,” he said. “We have no torch to bear or cause to defend. We just want to be.”

According to Mr. Devor the biggest challenge was not getting the zoos to talk but finding a location to shoot the film.

“We went to every single horse farm within two hours of Seattle and came up empty,” he said. “Owners would say things like: ‘We have Microsoft picnics here. They’re going to think it happened in my barn.’ ” He finally found a sympathetic farmer in Canada, who helped pull some strings with a landowner in Washington.

The overwhelming aversion to zoophilia is bound up in established taboos and moral codes. The debate, if it would come to that, tends to concern the welfare of the animal and the murky issue of consent. The men in “Zoo” attest to the fulfilling completeness of zoophile relationships and claim not to resort to coercion. On the latter count they have an unlikely ally in Rush Limbaugh, who can be heard in the film weighing in on Mr. Pinyan’s death: “How in the world could this happen without consent?”

But the apparent arousal of the horses is beside the point for many animal advocates, including Ms. Edwards. “Horses have an incredible sense memory and are unbelievably willing to learn,” she said in an e-mail message. “They want to do what is asked of them. But I’m not convinced they want to have sex with us.”

Mr. Devor interviewed the zoos and is more inclined to term the sex consensual. He spoke to them one-on-one, in hotel rooms, and his subjects sometimes illustrated their points by showing him homemade pornography. “It was in my face, really graphic stuff,” he said. “It’s a strange way to get to know someone.” But some of what he saw did change his outlook.

The sex in “Zoo” is merely glimpsed and barely discernible in a few seconds of a video that the police had confiscated and that was circulated on the Internet after Mr. Pinyan’s death.

“The film is extreme more in its formalism than in terms of graphic content,” said Mark Urman, an executive producer of “Zoo” and the head of theatrical releasing at ThinkFilm, which is distributing it. “One really worries if there’s a significant population looking for the tabloid version.”

But Mr. Devor has detected among audiences a curiosity, if not an appetite, to see more. “So many people have said to me there’s not enough sex,” he said. “I think there’s a need to see the mechanics.”

Those viewers should be careful what they wish for. “Maybe we can find some things to put on the DVD,” Mr. Devor said.