But this weekend gave me pause and I found myself reflecting on an action I took this weekend.
See, recently a friend of mine came down with Guillain-Barre Syndrome. A very nasty disorder (which eerily enough had an outbreak coinciding with a swine flu outbreak in the seventies). This friend (let's call him Q) isn't really a close friend, more like a person I game with once or twice a year, but I guess I feel sort of kinship with him in some way.
So Q was in the hospital for two months and has just recently been allowed home. I offered to take him to Madness in Plano Saturday night for gaming. He lives about 1/2 hour away from me and another 1/2 hour away from the store. And it was on the drive there that I questioned what I was doing.
I don't consider myself a real selfish person, nor a saint that usually would go out of my way to this extent (barring emergencey situations). So this is why I really had to think about the 'why' of what I was doing. I guess it is a growing sense of empathy and reliance on that old golden rule.
I think about when I was single, with no family here and if something like this happened to me. Having a bout with bronchitis was bad enough and without my saintly wife to assist in my recovery, I would have been lost.
When we bought our new house in May, I also forced myself to examine my actions. My wife seemed to care less and it was me driving the hunt and relocation. I told my aunt that I was trying to leave some ghosts (some of my same reasons for moving to Texas). Rather than deal with problems in the house and faulkts in my relationship, I decided it was easier to move. But also, I saw myself trying to become more active in the community and the new neighborhood provides more of an opportunity for that. But of course, here it is 2.5 months later and the same relationship problems exist we have a different set of house problems and I have not worked on any community issues, aside from reading the newsletters.
So, perhaps it was an attempt to assuage my conscience that prompted me to assist Q in his social life. Or a response to the impotency I feel in helping my family members back East who are suffering the loss of my uncle and aunt, these past months.
Whatever the reason, Q seemed to have a good time, as did I, and I hope to make the effort again soon.
